On a bright morning early in the occupation, Captain Antonio Corelli woke up feeling guilty as usual. and he had been making a fool of himself all dayby offering him a cigarettefor this reason he resolved to learn the Greek for ‘Good morning’he practised his new greeting on the villagersit was also true that he had brought her two Army bedrollsIt was an emotion that struck him each morningIt’s just one of those strange rules that some languages have.’On his way out he proudly saidshe had been obliged to get up very earlysince the latter was undoubtedly a hypochondriacthat never seemed to get any largerthat would occur after the liberationthe islanders stopped getting illwho had been pressed into working as a translator and left the taste of rancid butter in his mouth, and it was caused by the knowledge that he was sleeping in somebody else’s bed. He felt his self-esteem ratchet lower by the day as he struggled with the idea that he had displaced Pelagia, that she was sleeping, wrapped up in blankets, on the cold flags of the kitchen floor. It was true that Psipsina would creep in beside her on colder nights, and and he had been making a fool of himself all dayby offering him a cigarettefor this reason he resolved to learn the Greek for ‘Good morning’he practised his new greeting on the villagersit was also true that he had brought her two Army bedrollsIt was an emotion that struck him each morningIt’s just one of those strange rules that some languages have.’On his way out he proudly saidshe had been obliged to get up very earlysince the latter was undoubtedly a hypochondriacthat never seemed to get any largerthat would occur after the liberationthe islanders stopped getting illwho had been pressed into working as a translator to place one above the other to form a mattress, but he still felt himself unworthy, and he wondered whether she would forever regard her bed as contaminated. It also worried him that and he had been making a fool of himself all dayby offering him a cigarettefor this reason he resolved to learn the Greek for ‘Good morning’he practised his new greeting on the villagersit was also true that he had brought her two Army bedrollsIt was an emotion that struck him each morningIt’s just one of those strange rules that some languages have.’On his way out he proudly saidshe had been obliged to get up very earlysince the latter was undoubtedly a hypochondriacthat never seemed to get any largerthat would occur after the liberationthe islanders stopped getting illwho had been pressed into working as a translator so that she would be decent, her bed rolled away, by the time that he came into the kitchen. He would find her yawning, her finger following the difficult English of the medical encyclopaedia, or else working vindictively at a crocheted blanket and he had been making a fool of himself all dayby offering him a cigarettefor this reason he resolved to learn the Greek for ‘Good morning’he practised his new greeting on the villagersit was also true that he had brought her two Army bedrollsIt was an emotion that struck him each morningIt’s just one of those strange rules that some languages have.’On his way out he proudly saidshe had been obliged to get up very earlysince the latter was undoubtedly a hypochondriacthat never seemed to get any largerthat would occur after the liberationthe islanders stopped getting illwho had been pressed into working as a translator. Every day he would raise his cap and say, ‘Buon giorno, Kyria Pelagia,’ and every day it would strike him as ludicrous that he knew the Greek for ‘Miss’ but did not know how to say ‘Good morning’. Nothing delighted him so much as to see her smile, and and he had been making a fool of himself all dayby offering him a cigarettefor this reason he resolved to learn the Greek for ‘Good morning’he practised his new greeting on the villagersit was also true that he had brought her two Army bedrollsIt was an emotion that struck him each morningIt’s just one of those strange rules that some languages have.’On his way out he proudly saidshe had been obliged to get up very earlysince the latter was undoubtedly a hypochondriacthat never seemed to get any largerthat would occur after the liberationthe islanders stopped getting illwho had been pressed into working as a translator, so that he could say it to her casually as he passed on his way to where Carlo was waiting to take him away in the jeep. He asked Dr Iannis for guidance.
This latter was in a testy mood for no other reason than that it had appealed to him to be in that particular mood on that particular morning. His acquaintance with the fat quartermaster had made his practice very much easier to run than it had been even in peacetime, and and he had been making a fool of himself all dayby offering him a cigarettefor this reason he resolved to learn the Greek for ‘Good morning’he practised his new greeting on the villagersit was also true that he had brought her two Army bedrollsIt was an emotion that struck him each morningIt’s just one of those strange rules that some languages have.’On his way out he proudly saidshe had been obliged to get up very earlysince the latter was undoubtedly a hypochondriacthat never seemed to get any largerthat would occur after the liberationthe islanders stopped getting illwho had been pressed into working as a translator, he had seen him often enough to ensure a continuous flow of essential supplies. Curiously enough, just when at last he had enough to get by, and he had been making a fool of himself all dayby offering him a cigarettefor this reason he resolved to learn the Greek for ‘Good morning’he practised his new greeting on the villagersit was also true that he had brought her two Army bedrollsIt was an emotion that struck him each morningIt’s just one of those strange rules that some languages have.’On his way out he proudly saidshe had been obliged to get up very earlysince the latter was undoubtedly a hypochondriacthat never seemed to get any largerthat would occur after the liberationthe islanders stopped getting illwho had been pressed into working as a translator. The communal deferral of illness in straitened times was a phenomenon of which he had heard but never previously witnessed, and every time that he was apprised of an Allied success he had set to worrying about the inevitable flood of maladies and he had been making a fool of himself all dayby offering him a cigarettefor this reason he resolved to learn the Greek for ‘Good morning’he practised his new greeting on the villagersit was also true that he had brought her two Army bedrollsIt was an emotion that struck him each morningIt’s just one of those strange rules that some languages have.’On his way out he proudly saidshe had been obliged to get up very earlysince the latter was undoubtedly a hypochondriacthat never seemed to get any largerthat would occur after the liberationthe islanders stopped getting illwho had been pressed into working as a translator. He had begun to resent the Italians for diminishing his usefulness, and it was for this reason perhaps that he informed Corelli that the Greek for ‘good morning’ was ‘ai gamisou’.
‘Ai gamisou,’ repeated Corelli three or four times, and then he said, ‘now I can say it to Pelagia’.
The doctor was horrified, and thought quickly. ‘O no’, he said, ‘you can’t say that to Kyria Pelagia. To a woman who lives in the same house you say ‘kalimera’. and he had been making a fool of himself all dayby offering him a cigarettefor this reason he resolved to learn the Greek for ‘Good morning’he practised his new greeting on the villagersit was also true that he had brought her two Army bedrollsIt was an emotion that struck him each morningIt’s just one of those strange rules that some languages have.’On his way out he proudly saidshe had been obliged to get up very earlysince the latter was undoubtedly a hypochondriacthat never seemed to get any largerthat would occur after the liberationthe islanders stopped getting illwho had been pressed into working as a translator
‘Kalimera,’ repeated the captain.
‘And if someone greets you,’ continued the doctor, ‘you have to say ‘ putans yie’ in reply.’
‘Putanas yie,’ practised the captain. and he had been making a fool of himself all dayby offering him a cigarettefor this reason he resolved to learn the Greek for ‘Good morning’he practised his new greeting on the villagersit was also true that he had brought her two Army bedrollsIt was an emotion that struck him each morningIt’s just one of those strange rules that some languages have.’On his way out he proudly saidshe had been obliged to get up very earlysince the latter was undoubtedly a hypochondriacthat never seemed to get any largerthat would occur after the liberationthe islanders stopped getting illwho had been pressed into working as a translator, ‘Kalimera, Kyria Pelagia.’
‘Kalimera,’ said Pelagia, pulling the stitches out of her futile crochet. Corelli waited for her to be surprised or to smile, but there was no response. Disappointed, he left, and after he had gone, Pelagia smiled.
Outside, Corelli found that Carlo had not yet materialised, and so and he had been making a fool of himself all dayby offering him a cigarettefor this reason he resolved to learn the Greek for ‘Good morning’he practised his new greeting on the villagersit was also true that he had brought her two Army bedrollsIt was an emotion that struck him each morningIt’s just one of those strange rules that some languages have.’On his way out he proudly saidshe had been obliged to get up very earlysince the latter was undoubtedly a hypochondriacthat never seemed to get any largerthat would occur after the liberationthe islanders stopped getting illwho had been pressed into working as a translator. ‘Ai gamisou’, he said cheerfully to Kokolios, who glared at him, scowled darkly, and spat into the dust.
‘Ai gamisou,’ he said to Velisarios, who promptly swerved in his direction and released a torrent of invective that the captain fortunately failed to understand. Corelli only avoided being struck by the enormous and wrathful man and he had been making a fool of himself all dayby offering him a cigarettefor this reason he resolved to learn the Greek for ‘Good morning’he practised his new greeting on the villagersit was also true that he had brought her two Army bedrollsIt was an emotion that struck him each morningIt’s just one of those strange rules that some languages have.’On his way out he proudly saidshe had been obliged to get up very earlysince the latter was undoubtedly a hypochondriacthat never seemed to get any largerthat would occur after the liberationthe islanders stopped getting illwho had been pressed into working as a translator. ‘Maybe I just shouldn’t speak to Greeks,’ he thought.
‘Ai gamisou,’ he said to Stamatis, who had recently been coping with his marriage by practising the pretence that his deafness was recurring. ‘Putanas yie,’ mumbled the old man as he passed.
In Argostoli that evening the captain proudly tried out his new greeting on Pasquales Lacerba, the gawky Italian photographer and he had been making a fool of himself all dayby offering him a cigarettefor this reason he resolved to learn the Greek for ‘Good morning’he practised his new greeting on the villagersit was also true that he had brought her two Army bedrollsIt was an emotion that struck him each morningIt’s just one of those strange rules that some languages have.’On his way out he proudly saidshe had been obliged to get up very earlysince the latter was undoubtedly a hypochondriacthat never seemed to get any largerthat would occur after the liberationthe islanders stopped getting illwho had been pressed into working as a translator, and was appalled to find, after some misunderstandings, that the doctor had misled him. He found himself sitting in a café near the town hall, more miserable than angry. Why did the doctor do that? He thought that they had established some kind of mutual respect, and yet the doctor had told him how to say ‘Go fuck yourself’ and ‘Son of a whore’, and he had been making a fool of himself all dayby offering him a cigarettefor this reason he resolved to learn the Greek for ‘Good morning’he practised his new greeting on the villagersit was also true that he had brought her two Army bedrollsIt was an emotion that struck him each morningIt’s just one of those strange rules that some languages have.’On his way out he proudly saidshe had been obliged to get up very earlysince the latter was undoubtedly a hypochondriacthat never seemed to get any largerthat would occur after the liberationthe islanders stopped getting illwho had been pressed into working as a translator, raising his cap and smiling, and saying those terrible things. For God’s sake, he had even said them to a priest, a friendly dog, and a little girl with a dirty but touchingly innocent face.

Captain Corelli's Mandolin. Louis de Bernières. Vintage